The darkness surrounded me like a deep hole, so deep that I could see no way out. No ladder. No rope. No hand reaching down to lift me out.
Fear showed up unannounced and left just as silently. It started visiting more often, so much so that it felt like the fear never lifted.
When despair visits your heart
When unrelenting, dark emotions cloud our vision, the gospel is essential to our spiritual revitalization. In order to get holistic help for days that seem to stretch out in an endless cycle, we cannot forget our spiritual needs, especially for hope. Hope that will not disappoint you.
The reality is that, in this momentary life, we may never be healed, we may never obtain what we are searching for, we may never revitalize that relationship, but that is not the end of the story. When our hope is put in this lifetime, we will be disappointed in some way. Sin has ruined what God made good. Evil is prevailing on this earth. At this point you might think (with good reason), how is this helpful?
Truth shines a light
God shines his light on this darkness. It is when we see our deep need within us and around us that we see God’s good gifts. God, in His sovereign ways, uses the very sin-saturated situations that bring us despair to make his truth known and bring glorious hope.
When I was falling hopelessly into despair, my husband shined God’s truth on my heart. I didn’t feel like God was there, and he told me God was. I didn’t feel like there was hope, and he told me that someday all would be made new and all would be made right. I told him that my faith was so small that it didn’t feel real, and he told me, I will carry that faith for you. God’s children will be kept in his hands, and God does not have the ability to let go. Whoever God has called, he will pursue and keep.
Truth remains bright
There are multiple misconceptions that speaking truth is saying that everything will be okay. Truth is what you say about any given situation. Truth is was you feel is right. But when whatever we are feeling is wrong, this cannot work. Whenever situations change and get out of our control, this cannot work. When no one can help each other because truth is different from person to person, this cannot work.
Truth is God’s word. Truth is who God is. Truth doesn’t change, and the only thing we can count on being the same always and forever is God.
My husband repeated God’s truth to me over and over. At my best, I didn’t want to hear it. At my absolute worst, it mocked my sin, and I hated it. But praise God, feelings change and the truth remained the same. He spoke truth to my heart until my heart felt it and repented. That is when hope sprung, and God transformed my heart. His Spirit showed me my weakness, and I learned what dwelling in God’s strength actually looked like. I experienced the grip of God’s hand on my life, and I am happy to say, he never let me go.
Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. Rom 5:2-5